My Origin Story with the Impostor Phenomenon

Experiencing relentless bullying and other childhood trauma played an important role in the development of my sense of self-worth. At the time, I unknowingly internalized a lot of the negative experiences and adopted the chronic criticism and abuse as my own inner voice. Every opportunity for me to try new things, take on challenges, step outside my comfort zone, meet new people, or share my ideas would activate the cruel, inner critic. For some time, the nagging self-doubt led to a lot of missed opportunities and avoidances, which fed the vicious cycle, manifesting a self-fulfilling prophecy – when you believe that you’re not enough or inadequate, your behaviors tend to follow. And over time, one of the biggest struggles is taking ownership of your achievements and accomplishments. This phenomenon is often referred to as the impostor syndrome.

What is Impostor Syndrome and Who Does it Impact?

Impostor Syndrome can be described as a psychological pattern in which the individual feels inadequate, not good enough or having chronic self-doubt that persists even in the face of information that invalidates those feelings. There’s a persistent, and sometimes, very intense fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”

In my practice, more than 80-90% of my patients report experiencing the impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. The impostor syndrome is particularly common among successful professionals or individuals — the star athlete, the CEO of a company, expert doctors at a leading hospital, top executives at a tech company — those who have reached the upper levels of success as defined by their industry, age group, or gender. What’s more, given that individuals at the top of their class or fields really do experience greater pressure and higher stakes (such as if an intern screws up, it’s not that big of a deal, but if a doctor makes a mistake, it could cost a life), circumstances and conditions are ripe for feeling inadequate.

Causes of Impostor Syndrome

There’s no one-size-fits all answer. However, as a trauma-informed therapist, I believe that a lot of this can be traced back to our upbringing and childhood – many factors that may play a part in impostor syndrome includes family dynamics, parenting styles, life transitions/interruptions, personality traits, and history of social anxiety and other mental health-related struggles. Childhood experiences and memories – especially traumatic events, abuse, or neglect – can leave a lasting impact. Many people internalize these early ideas and concepts, such as “in order to be loved or worthy, I need to be successful.” This becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

Unresolved trauma and unacknowledged patterns of thinking can show up in many ways. Often times, past pain and trauma teaches us to forge elaborate weapons and build strong walls around our hearts that act as impressive mechanisms for protection. Sooner or later, we find ourselves locked in by the very defenses we have constructed for our own survival.

Whatever the origin, impostor syndrome isn’t built over night. It is a strong reaction that has been repeated over and over, essentially confirming and embedding a core belief that leads you to feel not good enough.  And one of the first steps to managing impostor feelings is to the break the pattern and negative loop.

Techniques for Managing Impostor Syndrome

To disrupt the impostor cycle, you need to take back control by intentionally and proactively engage in thinking differently about yourself and reaffirming and owning your greatness.

1. Identify the Positive Side of the Impostor. What are the negative thoughts and feelings reveal about you that is awesome? What does it tell you about your values? For example, does it show you that you are a hard worker, ambitious, and have high standards?
2. Identify the Benefits of the Impostor. Consider what are the advantages to maintaining those negative thoughts and feelings associated with the impostor syndrome? Does it help motivate you? How is it serving you? Then consider, how much of this impostor feeling do you really need to maintain those great qualities and benefits?
3. Be Imperfect on Purpose. This may seem strange – and can be very hard for people struggling with the impostor syndrome. This is actually an Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) technique to dial down the anxiety that is associated with some of these thoughts. So, for example, if you typically overprepare for a task, give yourself less time and be specific about the amount of time you’re allowing yourself to prepare.  When we engage in anxious behaviors/compulsions influenced by negative thoughts, those actions reinforce the belief that those thoughts are real.
4. Give the Impostor a Name. Yes. This may seem silly, but it’s important that you separate yourself from the impostor. It’s easy to become so enmesh with the impostor that we lose sight of ourselves and generalize the impostor to all aspects of who we are. So, give it a name. And when the impostor shows up, talk back to the negative thoughts. Challenge it. Disprove it.
5. Accept that Good Enough is Enough. Sometimes the impostor feeling leads to very unrealistic or hard to reach expectations that only adds unnecessary pressure.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Make Some Mistakes. You are human. Mistakes are a part of learning and growing.
7. Open up and Be Vulnerable. You don’t need to suffer in silence. It can be very helpful to open up and be transparent about your experiences with a trusted person or professional. Sometimes this process can lead you be more compassionate with yourself, build insight, feel less shame, and learn that you are not alone or that you do not need to be alone with it.

For most of my adolescent years and young adulthood, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy – which built an internal glass ceiling that I had to break. I remember shying away from anything that may expose me as a “fraud” or made me appear incompetent. This held me back in life with many limitations. It was only when I made a mental shift and changed my perspective by taking small, consistent actions in another direction that I allowed myself to move pass the feelings of the impostor syndrome. I learned that you can have doubt, anxiety, and fear, yet still succeed.

My point is: having moments of doubt is normal and is a part of growth. What’s important is that the doubt does not dictate your actions and drown out your own inner voice. It’s important to build a healthy perspective that champions honesty, transparency and a positive attitude toward failure to end the suffering in silence that the imposter syndrome feeds on.

Rather than hiding our fears, let’s face them. Rather than running from failures, let’s learn from them. 

About Author

Albert Nguyen is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice. He specializes in providing an integrative and holistic approach to mental health care that includes personal self-care, anxiety and depression, and peak performance in children, teens and adults. Reach out for more information on how he can be of service to you here.