Self-care has been smeared and slandered for decades – particularly for those who are responsible for the well-being of others. Often maligned as a selfish act, self-care has long been dismissed, ignored or taken lightly, while pushing oneself to the brink of destruction in the service of another person has long been hailed the ultimate act of compassion and love. In a world that celebrates sacrifice and judges moments of self-care, it can be difficult to justify taking moments to fortify your own physical, mental, and emotional health. The antiquated and outdated notion that taking care of another person requires a total disregard for their own wellbeing has not only caused tremendous damage to the health of caregivers – Study after study shows that caregivers who do not practice self-care are not only causing damage to themselves, but also the person they are caring for.
In other words: No one wins and everyone suffers when you ignore your own personal overall health needs.
A Difficult Discipline
Most people are not as good at caring for themselves as they think. For professional helpers – doctors, nurses, therapists, and teachers – it’s easy to be dismissive of their own needs. The monumental responsibility of caring for another human being can create unspoken mental barriers and perceived boundaries that leave the caregiver with the undue burden of ignoring their own personal needs. When these needs go unattended, caregivers experience higher levels of burnout, increase the risk of making critical mistakes, or end up sick themselves. Caregivers who ignore their own self-care have a higher rate of illness, depression, and even suicide. The act of practicing self-care as a caregiver requires an incredible amount of self-discipline and dedication, not only to their own health but the overall wellbeing of the individual in their care.
Self-Care is Not About Spas
We often talk about self-care, but most people don’t truly understand what it entails. This ties back to the reason why many of us are not good at taking care of ourselves. While talking about self-care, many individuals boast on social media about getting a pedicure, scheduling a massage, or justify eating a large bowl of ice cream – all in the name of self-care. The truth is, self-care is not about spas or desserts: It is about practicing the highest form of self-love through disciplined and thoughtful examination of one’s needs, priorities, and values. It is about checking in with and understanding one’s mood, being mindful of one’s anxiety, and assessing the factors that are contributing to an unhealthy physical and mental state. Self-care is not as easy as pouring a large glass of wine at the end of a long day. Self-care is about learning to say no, setting boundaries, and honoring your own capacity for giving.
Self-care requires effort, dedication, and self-exploration – all things that cannot be bought in a store.
Be in Airplane Mode
Before every flight, the attendants remind all passengers that in the event of an emergency, it is critical to put your own mask on first before helping others. While many tune this safety lesson out, it is the most concentrated way to boil down the importance of self-care. By helping others put on their mask before your own, you put both the person you’re trying to assist and yourself in grave danger. Before you can adequately help someone else, you need to be in good health yourself. True self-care is hard to do, especially when caring for others. By committing to caring for yourself, you are actually committing to delivering your best work and care for those in your charge. Choose to be in airplane mode – make sure your mask is secure before you attempt to help others…
…it could literally save both of your lives.
