Meet, Casey. He is bold, determined, resilient, and a problem-solver. He is reliable, does not like to give up, and finds a way to accomplish huge feats.  Casey is driven by honor, respect, and compassion. He is crystal clear about his purpose – he knows what he stands for and fights for it. When he finds himself in a difficult situation, he uses it as an opportunity to affirm and assert his values. He is uncomfortable with comfort, knowing how comfort can deter him from the best version of himself. He is addicted to working hard at work worth doing. Impossible does not exist to him, only things that he has yet to try. Casey basks in the whole truth because lying is a waste of time – to him, the truth is the only real shortcut to self-improvement. Casey believes that knowing your limits only serves as the proper and true start to your life’s journey. He is the personification of everything that makes a human being nearly a superhero or a champion at heart.

And if you ever had the opportunity to meet, Casey, then you’d know that Casey and I are one in the same.

Casey is my “Alter-Ego.”

True story.

The Birth of Casey

Back in the year 2009, I worked at an outpatient medical clinic for dementia that served over 60 patients on any given day. The majority of the patients (between 70-80%) that came through were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, with some TBI (traumatic brain injury) and other forms of dementia-related conditions, such as Parkinson’s Disease, Dementia with Lewy Bodies (DLB), and Huntington’s Disease. My major responsibilities at this job were intakes, behavioral assessments, treatment planning and implementation, group facilitation, care coordination, and discharge planning. Simply put, I got to meet with almost every single patient, got to know them and their families/friends/caretakers, and supported them in managing their symptoms and enhancing their quality of life. The common symptoms with the Alzheimer’s disease are memory loss, mood changes, or confusion with place, date or time. The symptoms typically start off mild but gets worse over time. Each person with Alzheimer’s disease progress through the stages of the disease at different rates. So, you just never know who you might meet that day – they may be the same person, but their reality has changed. And Casey? Well, during my 4-year tenure at the clinic – Casey found me.

“Hello, Casey!” One of the patients enthusiastically shouted out to me on a random day.

“Who, me?” I thought to myself. He believed I was someone he knew from an earlier time in his life.

This was a sign that he had progressed further along in the disease. At this point in my career, I was more experienced with the Alzheimer’s Disease and how the symptoms manifested across different people. Instead of correcting them, I learned to be curious and would almost always stepped into their reality – it helped me understand where they were in the disease, while also alleviating unnecessary stress. So, if they thought they were 17-years old, they were 17. If they thought it was 1960, it was 1960. If I reminded them of someone, especially if that someone brought them happiness, I will be that person. I learned quickly that the gap between perception and reality can be easily blurred and fuzzy – for all of us, our perceptions can become our realities. And in this case, this patient thought I was, “Casey.” From that moment on, and for the next 2 years, I embodied Casey. This patient once was a director of a huge engineering company, and Casey was someone who had worked for him as a manager – someone he highly respected and admired.  I saw the joy and happiness that shined through every time he talked about Casey. I eventually grew very fond of my Alter-Ego, Casey. My conversations during my sessions with this patient brought on a lot of life lessons, insight and wisdom. So, after the patient passed away 2 years later, I carried the concept of Casey with me – and it grew far beyond from where it started.

Casey – to me – was a symbol – a representation of possibilities, hope and limitlessness. He wasn’t just a character or memory in someone else’s life. Casey was ever-evolving – and he became the Superman to my Clark Kent, the Batman to my Bruce Wayne, the Spiderman to my Peter Parker — the Hero inside all of us.

The Alter-Ego Vs. The Ego

The concept of an Alter-Ego has been around for centuries. But, until someone takes a concept and gives it some context on ways to implement it, it only becomes something we “know” but don’t “apply”. The great thing is: we all have it! That person is already inside you. You just need to unlock it. This other part of you is your Heroic Self – the best version of you. I sometimes refer to this version as the most consciously aware – the one that is “unplugged from the Matrix.” There is a powerful technique that is used in therapy called “externalization of voices” – in which the therapist becomes the patient’s “negative thoughts” so that the patient can learn to create enough distance from it to consciously speak from another truth or standpoint. Creating an Alter-Ego works in a similar way – that can be used outside of therapy. Many people have become so enmeshed with their own “negative thoughts” that they actually begin to believe that’s who they are. Creating an Alter-Ego gives you something else to believe in and grow into.

This is a methodology I often use with kids struggling with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in therapy – especially with the huge uproar of Marvel superheroes, many of which have an Alter-Ego — so I would encourage kids to channel their inner superhero. This works for everyone – not just those struggling with their mental health. The main idea is to imagine ourselves as a different character to get the results we want. The Alter-Ego challenges your current view of yourself – and for simplicity, we’ll refer to that as the “Ego.” The Ego is the inner-critic – the part of you that plays out endless cognitive distortions, has perceived limitations and preconceived notions about who you are – it can even show up as the Impostor Syndrome.

Here’s an example of a self-talk between the Ego and Alter-Ego:

• The Ego says: “I’m not good at that. I’m not going to try.”
• The Alter-Ego says: “How do I know if I don’t try! Let’s test it.”
• The Ego says: “What if people laugh at me?”.
• The Alter-Ego says: “Let them think what they want. I won’t let their opinions get in the way of me living my best life.”
• The Ego says: “What if I fail?”
• The Alter-Ego says: “What if I don’t? And, even if I fail, at least I’ll know I gave it a shot.”

The Alter-Ego is a clearly self-defined character of what you want to see more of from YOU and how you want to show up, especially when faced with a challenging situation. It’s the voice you invent and grow into that aligns you with your best and most authentic self – the VOICE that helps you balance out the “negative” self-talk. It acts as a distinct concept that you can begin to believe in.

As you know, repeated thoughts become beliefs which leads us to act on them.

Some other benefits of having an Alter-Ego:

• It can help you to step out of your comfort zone.
• Having an Alter-Ego can be very empowering and self-validating.
• You can channel your gifts and talents through your Alter-Ego.
• An Alter-Ego can give you some perspective on your circumstances.
• An Alter-Ego brings awareness to many of your blindspots around behavioral patterns that are no longer serving you.
• And honestly, having an Alter-Ego can make life a lot more FUN.

Creating an Alter-Ego Vs. Taking Personality Tests

Personality tests are flawed. The plethora of personality tests – while great and fascinating – I actually find them dangerous for some as it can trap of us into limiting labels and concepts about ourselves.  This is also another reason why I am reluctant to provide my patients with mental health diagnoses. I hear it all the time in practice – people who have taken tests such as the Myers-Briggs or diagnosed themselves with a personality disorder: “I’m an INJF, I’m an introvert, I’m Borderline” or whatever. Ugh! Why would you let these labels define who you are!? And why would you allow these tests and the results from them to place limitations on you? It’s not that these can’t be useful – but they also have the potential to lock us into an unhelpful, maladaptive belief about ourselves that ultimately leads to a fixed-mindset and other dangerous self-fulfilling prophecies – in other words, we tend to act out our own predictions/beliefs and make them true.  When you strongly identify with something, your behaviors tend to follow.  So, in practice, I encourage people to create Alter-Ego’s instead of taking personality tests. The Alter-Ego is based on a careful examination about your future self – an unwritten and limitless self – and building a bridge for that self to drive your current behaviors, not your former self. Creating an Alter-Ego is self-defined – more personalized, proactive, and requires more critical thinking and insight extracted from self-reflection and exploration. Yes, it requires more WORK. But, you’re worth it!

Creating the Alter-Ego

Have you ever felt more confident when you put on your favorite outfit? Maybe even a uniform or a power suit? Perhaps you have a song that you sometimes imagine playing in your mind as you to take on a challenge? Maybe you’ve seen how a child behaves differently during imaginative play while wearing a superhero costume? Or maybe you’ve felt a strange sense of empowerment while wearing an actual superhero costume during Halloween? Whatever it is – the result is the same – IT BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN A PERSON.

Creating an Alter-Ego is not much different and is quite simple – just like writing a character for a movie or storybook.

Try the following steps:

1. Start Identifying Major Areas of Your Life that You Struggle in or Want to Improve In.
2. Identify the Behaviors and Attitude that You Currently Show Up With.
3. Then Identify the Behaviors and Attitude that You Need to Succeed or Would Like to See More of From Yourself.
4. Construct the Personality of Your Alter-Ego Based on the identified Behaviors, Attitude and Characteristics.
5. Give it a Name.
6. Identify your Call-to-Action – when is your Alter-Ego needed?
7. Summon your Alter-Ego.

This is just the beginning.

Your Alter-Ego does not have to be PERFECT.

Just like you, your Alter-Ego is ever-evolving. Understand that the Alter-Ego is developed to help you move forward with the “Hero’s Journey.” Every hero goes through a journey where they will face challenges, overcome them, and learn more about how to harness and refine their unique superpowers.

My point is: Take your Alter-Ego to the streets. You need to practice and discover how to trigger your transformation – to learn how to turn those superpowers ON when you need them. There is really only one person in the way of you tapping into your capabilities: You. And you are the only person who can move yourself out of the way so you can perform at your peak.  The Alter Ego is not about creating a false mask, façade or “faking it”– it’s about finding the hero already inside you to overcome the self-doubt, negativity, and insecurity that holds you back. Your Alter-Ego can be the secret identity that stands beside you and shifts your mindset– empowering you to ultimately rise to become your best self.

If you’d like to learn more about this concept and how to unleash your heroic qualities, behaviors, and choices so you can live the life you want – and to activate your best self when the going gets tough – reach out!

About the Author

Albert Nguyen is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice. He specializes in providing an integrative and eclectic approach to mental health care that includes personal self-care, anxiety and depression, and peak performance in children, teens and adults. Reach out for more information on how he can be of service to you here.